Confession of a Recovering Perfectionist

This post is being written and shared to hopefully help anyone who may have struggled with perfectionism, and or, being a Father-pleaser. I am a Hospice Chaplain and every day I listen to dying persons share their life stories. Some share the positive moments that have carried them throughout their life and others relate the hurtful and negative experiences that have wounded them. The majority of these wounds are still painful, even as these persons are facing their own death. As a result of being an active listener, I, in turn, do my own life review on a regular basis, almost daily! I rehearse my own positive and negative experiences that I know have helped to shape who I am today.

Until about twenty years ago I was a certified perfectionist. This definition was so true of me: a person's striving for flawlessness and setting high-performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. I expected things to be a certain standard and I was disappointed when it fell short. I began to change slowly as I started accepting the truth that everyone and every situation is different, with different expectations and outcomes. I learned that I was not always right or that my opinions were the only way. I admit that I still have a measure of it but I purposely fight the desire to view life from a perfectionist mindset.

Another personality trait I have struggled with throughout much of my life has been being a Father-pleaser. From my earliest memory, I wanted to please my natural father. I desperately desired to please him and for him to be proud of me. I desired to not make mistakes and to have Daddy's approval. The reality is that I made many mistakes and often disappointed him. My problem is that I tried to earn his approval.

How often this is true of our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Our efforts to please God and to earn His approval describe a frustrating and defeating lifestyle. Nothing that we can do will ever prove adequate to obtain God's acceptance and pleasure with us. These efforts will always fall short of perfection. I am so glad I am learning each day that I can never please God by what I do or don't do but that He loves and accepts me just because God loves me. God's love is unconditional!

When we can learn to accept ourselves as recipients of this amazing grace of our Heavenly Father then we can begin to live in new freedom. We recognize that even with our imperfections God continues to love us. We are free to please Him from grateful hearts. Our response to His graciousness is life-changing. Even when we make mistakes God continues to love us. I attempt to convey this truth with dying patients, in hopes that this revelation will free them from feelings of guilt and self-condemnation. How much more can each of us walk each day in this blessing!

Endure Hardship

Hardship can mean a lack of comfort and deprivation. Some of you are often deprived of sleep. In turn, this becomes a hardship. Paul said, You, therefore, therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3.

When I was a soldier in combat I averaged only 2 hours of sleep a night. I was deprived of sleep and when I went on R&R I slept the first two days and nights without waking up. My body had been deprived and had suffered. Hardship comes in different forms but a mature Christian, like a good soldier, develops endurance during hard times. According to the Bible, hard times may come to our country in the future. Now is the time to develop endurance before it arrives!

Suffering Has Come to America

God speaks to us in many different ways. One of the ways I have learned to hear the Lord is through my Christian friends that I trust. Dreams and visions are also biblical. During the 70s I was privileged to receive solid teaching from anointed Bible teachers such as Derek Prince, Kenneth E. Hagin, Oral Roberts, Kenneth Copeland, Bob Mumford, Lester Sumrall, Bob Jones, and Ken Sumrall. I learned about the principles of faith, who we are "in Christ," spiritual warfare, healing, and the power of the blood of Jesus. Two of the biblical doctrines not taught or understood during that time were suffering and persecution. We knew that Christians were suffering and being persecuted for their faith in Communist countries but here in America, we emphasized God's blessings. There is nothing unbiblical about being blessed by God but suffering and persecution are also biblical. Both are important Bible doctrines. A study of the Apostle Paul clearly reveals the power of sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Hello America and hello American believers! Suffering is staring us in the face. I heard from God this morning through a dear friend in Christ, Joy Samford. Joy sent me a video of Devin Wallace referring to her dream from the Lord. In the dream, the Lord was revealing to her how suffering is now ahead for the people of God in America. Actually, suffering has already begun.

I immediately made a short video about suffering and quoted 2 Corinthians 1:5. For the more we suffer for Christ the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. I felt a stirring in my spirit that one of my assignments now is to bring short teachings about suffering and the role it plays in a Christian's life. I have been teaching for the past year about our need to prepare for difficult days ahead but God wants me to also teach about preparing for suffering and hardship in America. I keep hearing this verse in my spirit, Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

I believe the Lord would have me post a short video about suffering and hardship each day for the rest of January. I don't have a congregation in a building but I feel God has given me a small congregation through social media. Pray for me as I prepare these teachings and I will be praying for those who will hear.

2021 Prophetic Word

 

There will be people used by God in 2021 that thought that their days of influence were over. Some will be used in the new government of our nation and a prophetic wisdom mantle will be placed on their shoulders. Government leaders will seek your counsel and you will see new paths of direction even before they materialize. The new government will be built upon the integrity of God's Word. Words of God will flow profusely from Washington, DC to state capitals, and then will trickle down to towns in every state. No longer will the Bible be muzzled in this land. The coming great awakening of the eyes of Americans in January will make way for the Great Awakening of the Holy Spirit.

Do not be surprised if your debt is eliminated during this year. Watch as our present currency is overhauled and becomes valuable again. It will become more than a promissory note on printed paper. The Bible described the cancellation of all debt as the Jubilee Year. Not only was it a year when debts were forgiven, but the mercies of God were also particularly manifested. In 2021 the currency of Heaven will be mercy on our nation! Imagine a nation where we owed no man anything but to love one another. Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law. Romans 13:8